Jill's Blog #12-Who's the Parent?

Until about age forty-five, limitations in my physical abilities went unnoticed. I’ve always prided myself in being nimble, but over the past 10 years, I’ve noticed that my agility, strength and endurance have gradually diminished. For example there’s pick-up ultimate Frisbee during the summer in Hartland. It’s a fun activity we can participate in as a family. Ten years ago, I would have been a force on the field to reckon with. Now the Frisbee is occasionally tossed to me since I’m “part of the team.” I am not considered a key player to be guarded. There’s a disconnect as I still view myself as “speedy” and am surprised when my body doesn’t quickly accelerate on the field. The morning after a game, I find myself hobbling around the house. With Mallory having older parents, she’s never seen me “in my prime,” and cannot imagine that I was ever considered a good athlete…

I’m now in a position to empathize with my mom when she laments about her prowess in younger years (she majored in physical education in college), and now is challenged by her every day activities. Although I can still participate in any physical activities I desire to, I take into consideration the potential of being injured, and find myself holding back because of that concern. Through experience, I’ve come to realize I have to limber up before sports or I’ll suffer consequences.

In planning for this trip, I’ve had to take in consideration my physical limitations. I’m setting up a support vehicle in case both Mallory and I need it, but the reality is, that I know am main the concern. Recently I’ve scheduled medical appointments for tune-ups. I saw a chiropractor for the first in many years. Particularly my ankle joints can be creaky. The chiropractor gave me an explanation of my joint symptoms,which when I read between the lines, indicated that I have some arthritis.Then I was sent by my family doctor to see a cardiologist because of heart palpitations. Fortunately it ended up being a benign condition as well. A few years ago I related to my mom around child rearing issues. With more frequent Dr's appointments to see specialists,that is another area that I can empathize with my mom. I must admit that I’m a bit shocked with the realization of the transference of how we can relate from child rearing to some age related issues.

Overall this aging stuff I feel I’ve taken in stride. I’m getting used to the aches and pains and wrinkles, but what I wasn’t prepared for, was the role reversal I experienced last week-end during a bike ride with the family. I’m still riding “Wilma,” which is the bike I bought for my cross country bicycle trip in 1979. On a number of occasions I’ve attempted to put her “out to pasture,” but there are too many sentimental attachments. I feel great gratitude that I’m having a custom bicycle made for me. My exercise teacher and her husband have a business making custom bicycles and offered to build one for me when they heard about my trip.

Back to the week-end bike excursion… I like to make the excuse that I have a handicap because I’m riding a 30 year old bike. I beckoned the family to bike ahead of me and that I’d meet up with them. Todd and Mallory headed out, but Bryce took it upon himself to follow behind me. I quickly realized that he had decided he needed to look out after “mom.” I reassured him that I’d be fine and he reluctantly pedaled on ahead of me. Not more than five minutes down the road, Mallory was parked on the shoulder waiting for me. She used the lame excuse that she needed a rest. Then she too insisted on riding behind me until I managed to persuade her as I did with Bryce, that I was fine and would make to our destination in my own due time, which I did. My mom grouses about her children fretting over her well being. I am thankful that my children want to support me, but just wait until my new bike I’m naming Ngangu, (which in Sango means strong or courageous is done), they won’t feel the need too! Well maybe I’ll never get back to the condition I was in 30 years ago, but I’ll have the technology to help me compensate.