Jill's Blog #2-Assuming Responsibility for My Health and Well Being

I rode in the Prouty the previous two years to raise money for the Norris Cotton Cancer Center. How ironic that I was standing in line last September to register as a NCCC patient. I looked around the lobby and noticed that a majority of people appeared healthy like me, but by virtue of that fact I was a patient there, I suddenly felt I was labeled as sick.

I sat down and waited to be called to see the doctor. I picked up a magazine which featured an article about Lance Armstrong and his recovery from testicular cancer despite a poor prognosis. He told about his mind set to fight the cancer despite poor odds. I imagined his immune system blasting the cancer cells. I was determined to have the same kind of mind set.

I headed home, resolute to assume responsibility for my health and well being. After many years desiring to set up a regular meditation practice, I haven’t yet been successful in establishing one. Here was my golden opportunity. The positive energy would certainly curtail any aberrant cancer cells. I positioned myself on big pillows on the floor and had my watch on the floor next to it. I figured I’ll start out meditating for 10 minutes. Two minutes into it, I was already looking at my watch. I sat on the pillows with my legs crossed and my fingers laced with my palms facing upward. Like a toddler going through the motions with loud grunting sounds, but missing the crucial Valsalva maneuver during potty training, I was well positioned to meditate if only my mind would chill-out.

Responsibility for my health on food front I feel more successful. I haven’t had a Dr. Pepper or other sugary drink since starting my crusade to lead a healthy life style. I’ve also appreciably cut down on my sweets intake. I haven’t become less of a cheese hound, but figure it’s a relatively health vice.

On the exercise front, I was slow on the uptake, but I’ve a resumed strength training classes three mornings per week. Yeah for endorphin release through exercise! I don’t think I’d initiate a regularly exercise regime on my own, so I feel lucky to have one I can walk across the street to.

Onward to the beginning of December... I’m trying hard to not sweat the small stuff, which translates, that I’m not micro-managing (aka nagging) my family. When I assessed my nag meter, I had made some headway in this department. So although I wasn’t expending quite so much of my energy micro-managing the family, I found it wasn’t being redirected towards my emotional wellness. I was waking up a lot with hot-flashes during the night. I’ve found a direct correlation to night awakenings due to hot-flashes, with the level of stress I’m feeling. I was still ruminating about the cancer and feeling guilty about it since I was told I had been cured. I was turning towards my natural inclination to withdraw inward instead of reaching out to friends and family. It certainly wasn’t a healthy approach to wellness and heaven forbid if anyone saw my weakness.

Then, somewhere mid December I had the inspiration for my cycling journey this summer. I was volunteering at a H1N1 flu clinic. One of the nurses talked about a middle aged friend of hers who is on sabbatical riding her bike around the country. It instantly took me back me back to 1979 when I rode my bike across the country with a girlfriend from college. It has continued to be one of my most memorable life experiences. I was fueled by the authenticity and hospitality of people we met on our trip, as they took us under their wings and shared a momentary part of their lives with us.

As a journey back to physical and mental wellness, I decided to bike from Colorado back to Vermont, and invite family and friends to join me along the way. To keep me on track of the mission of my journey, I created following goals to in mind when making decisions during the planning process.

• Make connections with family and friends through a shared experience.
• Gain inspiration meeting people and hearing their stories.
• Heal my body and soul through exercise.
• Raise money for cancer research and supportive cancer care through the Norris Cotton Cancer Center.
• Keep a journal of my thoughts while planning and during my bike trip.
• Model to my children my process in healing my mind, body and soul, including embracing challenges getting there.

So step one, establishing a bike route.